Quality vs Fun

Maybe I’m crazy to believe in standards. I don’t know anymore.

Was in my usual pub on a Friday, no make up, just hanging out. The ginger across the way was seriously checking me out. After half an hour, me being me, I went over to introduce myself. He was easy on the eyes and knows history plus he hit on me. We chatted he invited me to brunch the next day. It’s an adventure why not.

So he meets me at a location and he was going to drive to brunch. I swear he was wearing the same clothes as the night before: cammo cargo shorts, plaid snap up shirt and tennis shoes. I can hear ladies saying you can always tweak the way he dresses like khaki cargos.  We have a drink before brunch. Then we walk to his car. Doesn’t bother opening the door….. this could be a moot point this day in age but I expect it on a first date. Two points down.

We go to brunch where are discover that his longest relationship is 2.5 years. He’s 36. Huge ass red flag. Going on he’s topped out at his pay scale because he won’t go back to school. I’m not a degree snob, but you gotta do what you gotta do to get where you need to be. This could be on the job training. I learned from my previous relationship just because someone made rank doesn’t mean they aren’t lazy. I need ambition to match ambition.

With these two issues in mind, I gave the clothing the benefit of the doubt. He’s from a rural place – we had great convo. While explaining some of these issues to ladies I know, I came to hear but did you have fun? I started to feel maybe I’m being overly dramatic.  He’s chasing me daily – texting good morning, etc.

The second date I noticed maybe a drinking issue. He’s over six foot and he had 5 beers in an hour and a half. It was a lager, red flag started waving. I had to ask him if I had to open my own car door. He laughed and said he was lost in the conversation. You can conversation when you open regular doors whats the issue? I met him again for a third and it really started to open my eyes.

We spend 7.5 hours together and I swear to god 12 drinks a mix of shots and booze. Doesn’t matter if I had fun – what about the booze? There were other issues like he made his move. I decided to have fun for the first time in a year. When a lady goes down on you, fucking reciprocate! Don’t set that you need to get off first. I went home.

All the signs are no, but a friend said did you have fun. Do I asked him to meet me for dinner on Wed. I’m lifting, yeah until 1730. I’m busy during the week. Wait what?  You only want to see me on the weekend? Someone questioned what I meant by that and said if it’s fun. Well fun isn’t reserved only to the weekend, if you’re chasing me for two weeks saying good morning and you want to see me – that’s not just fun.

I get to my car on Thursday. I find a text it’s a fine night for drinks. I say okay. I get a text 30 minutes later, I’m a x location. No would you meet me, do you want a pick up or where would you like to go. I’m seething. And against my better judgement I go.  He tries to buy me a shot knowing I have a job interview the next morning. I had one beer and I told him I needed to go home and gather my thoughts. Confidence really is the key he said. To a degree. He tells me he hates employee surveys and purposefully missed the meeting on one. As a result he has to meet with his sup and tells her what he thinks about them. Pick your battles man. He’s laughing over it. Very so very immature. Fun should not be irritating. AgaIn the cammo shorts and a Tshirt. He asks to see me Friday. I said dependent on interview.

Heres the thing, friends respect each other. No one should sacrifice quality for fun. I know how I deserve to be treated and this isn’t it. If you let poor behavior continue it will. Those who say forget it and have fun are allowing poor behavior to continue. What happened to self respect? It’s easier not to be alone – trust me I know. I’ve also learned from my last relationship not to settle on important things. Basic respect it’s not a small, unimportant aspect. There can be fun and respect or we wouldn’t have friends.


This is popped up on fb and it’s timely. I don’t need a big kid.


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